How to show-up with more confidence on work calls

I know the feeling. You have a client call scheduled and are desperately over-preparing for fear that someone might ask you a question that.....god forbid...you don't know the answer to! 

The call comes around, the anxiety kicks in and you feel flustered and out of control. Maybe you get through unscathed or maybe you rush answers, act defensively or lose the power of speech entirely. Either way, you definitely beat yourself up afterwards for not doing a 'good enough' job. 

Sigh. 

Listen. Let me first say. You are not alone.

Second, let me say that there is nothing wrong with you. As women, we're socialised to hold ourselves to very high standards and taught that other peoples' opinions of us are very important. In your career, you may also have been trained to strive for perfection and avoid mistakes at all costs. The reaction you had on the call is just the result of all that programming. 

Here's the good news. While your brain may have been trained to create that result, we can retrain it. That's the work I do with my clients and is the only way to create real change. 

In the meantime, here are a few tips:

1. Slow down. Ever noticed that the most confident-seeming person on a call is the person who never seems rushed? If you take a few deep breaths, you'll quite literally slow down your heart rate, which will slow the adrenaline release and trick your brain into believing that the danger has passed. That should naturally slow things down, but just to be safe, try to speak twice as slowly as you want to and don't be afraid of a few seconds of silence. 
2. Sit up straight and smile. People just can't compute a smiling person with someone who isn't confident. Might also make you feel better...
3. Have a stock phrase or two. Look, news flash, you can't possibly prepare for every question that might be thrown your way. Have a couple of go-to phrases to pull out when you're thrown. If all else fails, honestly is usually the best policy. Try "I don't know. Let me get back to you on that."

If you're interested in building real confidence rather than just faking it, click HERE to learn more about working with me.